Giving

Panhandler

The other day I was driving through the city. Always a bit of a stressor for me. So I'm often glad when I come to a red light so I can catch my breath, check Google Maps to make sure I'm still on the right track. It was a lovely sunny day and there, on the boulevard, was a far too familiar sight.

A young man standing on the concrete boulevard, holding up a home-made cardboard sign. I can't remember exactly what it said, something about being homeless, every bit helps and God bless.

I see enough of these poor souls on the sides of the street and I often wondered what to do.

This time I had time. I looked at the young man, checked out his shoes, his clothes. They didn't look too very shabby. Should I give him some money? Did he really need it? What would he do with it?

Thankfully the red light was a bit longer than usual, giving me a chance to let this idea sit with me a moment. I was judging the worthiness of this young man to give him something I had plenty of.

And while I don't often get philosophical in the city, this time, because of the long red light, I had a chance to shift my perspective. Does God look at us and say, 'well, you know, you have enough. You don't deserve more grace, more love, more forgiveness'. Nope. His well is endless. And the other reality is, he has given me and my family so much more than so many. Did I deserve what I got? Was it my skills and my brains and my gifts that landed me in a loving family that supported me? Was getting a good job, being married to a loving man all because of things I have done? I didn't choose my home, my circumstances. I could just as easily be born into an abusive home. Child of a single mother struggling to get by with minimal support. I could have been born in any of the war-torn places around the world. And I would not have had all I did.

But I didn't. And I wasn't. And that wasn't my choosing.

And here I was, driving a nice car. Wearing nice clothes. On my passenger seat were a few more that I had just bought.

Now I've been told "Don't give money to panhandlers, it only encourages them, makes them lazy. A lot of them make a lot of money."

But I don't know this young man's story. His background. I don't know what he was going to do with the money I gave him.

At the same time, who was I to hold tightly to myself all the things I have been given. I mean, what do I do with all that God has given me? I buy clothes, go on holidays, buy good food, the occasional Starbucks, take my grandkids shopping to buy stuff they want but don't always need. My Amazon cart is full of the same things. The gap between the things I want and the things I need is pretty big, if I'm honest with myself.

So there I sat, in my nice car (that would have looked a LOT nicer if I had run it through the car-wash instead of rushing through town to get to Costco so I could exchange some stuff, then head to the Mall to meet my daughter), with clothes I had bought a purse with a wallet that had lots of cash.

I called him over, gave him the money, asked his name and told him I would pray for him. It was the easiest thing to do in the moment. Cost me so very little. He smiled at me, then left, hoping to get a bit more. I didn't put conditions on it. Didn't require an accounting of how he would use it. That was now on him.

Did I waste that money? I don't know.

Was it a huge sacrifice for me? No.

My takeaway from this (and we writers LOVE our takeaways almost as much as ministers do) was that I don't mine being considered a fool for giving money to someone who might not use it the way I thought he or she should. I would infinitely prefer that than to being a bit more judgemental, a bit more selfish and maybe not help someone who could genuinely have used my help. It's maybe poor money management, but I believe it's divine money management.

Give out of my blessings and let God take care of the rest.